The Trial of rAceAttorney
by dakoolguy
Summary: dakoolguy must hire Phoenix Wright to shut down r/AceAttorney which is a bad website.


One day after finishing his studies, dakoolguy went to r/AceAttorney which is a bad website with toxic people on it. dakoolguy knew that r/AceAttorney is toxic and that it is full of normies who are fake fans.

For example, the redditors on r/AceAttorney actually thought the Yamazaki-directed games were on par with or better than the Takumi-directed games. That is false. Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice are not canon. Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice literally ruined the series. dakoolguy thought that instead of Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice directed by Yamazaki, there should have been an Apollo Justice 2 directed by Takumi.

Also, they said certain ships were bad. They said that shipping Phoenix with Maya is bad, even though it is canon in the games. That doesn't make sense. They also said that shipping Franziska and Edgeworth was bad and incest. That doesn't make sense. They also said many other bad things. They also shipped Phoenix with Iris. What. But she is evil. Why would Phoenix be shipped with her? Phoenix/Maya is canon. Also, Iris is in jail.

"That is wrong," said dakoolguy. He was right, is was wrong.

dakoolguy wanted to tell r/AceAttorney that they were wrong, but he was too scared to make an account and post because from what he could tell r/AceAttorney was filled with cyber bullies who bully people who think differently from them. dakoolguy decided to call Phoenix Wright.

"Hello? Is this Phoenix Wright?" dakoolguy was on a phone.

"Yes, this is he. What's up?"

"Hi, I am dakoolguy. r/AceAttorney is saying bad stuff."

"Ugh, I hate r/AceAttorney," said Phoenix. "They say that Phoenix/Maya isn't canon even though it is canon. I am married to Maya."

"I know, Phoenix Wright," replied dakoolguy. "Can you sue them for me?"

"OK sure," replied Phoenix Wright.

So they served r/AceAttorney suing papers and took r/AceAttorney to court. The prosecutor was Miles Edgeworth.

"Don't worry, Wright," said Edgeworth. "I hate r/AceAttorney as much as you do. I will help you get your guilty verdict."

The judge gaveled and ordered r/AceAttorney to take the stand.

"r/AceAttorney," dakoolguy said, "is it true that you say that Phoenix/Maya is bad and not canon?"

"Yes," replied r/AceAttorney. The entire court gasped. "It is bad because Maya is a minor thus it is bad."

"OBJECTION" said dakoolguy. "She is only a minor IN THE FIRST GAME and no one ships them then so you are a disingenuous piece of garbage."

"ACK" said r/AceAttorney and he was penalized. "W-well, it is also bad because Phoenix basically adopted her in the first game so thus it's bad."

"OBJECTION" said dakoolguy. "No he didn't. As demonstrated in case 1-3, she calls him at his house early in the morning, so she is clearly living somewhere else on her own. Also, she takes a train AND LEAVES at the end of 1-4 so how did he 'basically adopt her' if he's not even responsible for her?"

"ACK" said r/AceAttorney and he lost another exclamation point. "It's... it's just BAD OKAY!"

"Hmph," said Edgeworth. "Let me guess, you hate Phoenix/Maya because you are one of those people who 'ship' me with Wright, is that it?"

"YES" said r/AceAttorney. "DON'T DENY YOUR FEEEEEEEEELLLLIIIIIIINNGGGGGGGGSSSSSSS!"

"OBJECTION" said dakoolguy. "Phoenix/Edgeworth isn't real. Franziska/Edgeworth is real."

"Hold the phone" said r/AceAttorney. "Franziska/Edgeworth is incest! It's bad!"

"OBJECTION" said dakoolguy. "No it isn't. They are not even related, so how is it incest? Use logic."

"ACK" said r/AceAttorney. He was down to 2 exclamation points now and sweating hard. "W-well, they may not ACTUALLY be related, but they view each other as brother and sister, so it's incest! People who ship them are gross!"

"OBJECTION" said dakoolguy. "First off, no one who ships Miles and Franziska views them as siblings, so calling the ship 'incest' and the people who ship them 'gross' just because you don't like the ship is stupid."

"ACK" said r/AceAttorney as his penultimate exclamation point exploded. "B-but they do view each other as siblings! After all, in Justice for All she calls him her little brother..."

"OBJECTION" said dakoolguy. "You can't determine the true nature of their relationship based on literally one or two remarks that might have been said in a teasing way. Also, you trying to lecture anyone on the validity of ships when you literally ship a canonically straight man with his rival that has never shown an inkling of romantic interest in him is insane."

"ACK" said r/AceAttorney and he lost his final exclamation point. The judge found him Guilty and r/AceAttorney was taken away and executed.

"Good," said dakoolguy. "Justice has prevailed again."

The end

Leave a review if you think r/AceAttorney is bad and should be shut down.


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